My 16 year old daughter lives with her mother and mother's boyfriend (the 7th boyfriend in the last 16 years). I am constantly being berated by her mother and boyfriend (of only 1 1/2 years mind you) about being a stay at home dad. I have four children with my wife and another on the way. I have been the primary caregiver since the birth of our first over nine years ago. Unfortunately, my 16 year old has never had the privilege of having a stay at home parent due to her mother's selfishness. I would really love to have this posted with their email addresses so that all of the at home dads on your site could send an informational email to these ignoramuses about their ignorance. Here is the latest from the boyfriend (an except out of his latest email) "You are one of the rare breeds, not to many men I know that stay at home and take care of the kids while moma brings home the bacon, while taking care of children especailly your own is very admirable, it is a little out of the norm." From [removed by editor] email: [removed by editor]; her name is [removed by editor] (her emails have been even worse) email: [removed by editor]Thank you for any help you can provide.
ignorance
Richard: I can appreciate your strong frustration, but I think you are making an inappropriate request of the other participants in this forum.
- Andy
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Objectively speaking, that e-mail didn't seem very harsh. It actually seemed complimentary. He said that it was an admirable choice. "Rare breed" can be a nice comment when said sincerely. Based on what you quoted, I don't see a tone of sarcasm. He didn't even curse, insult you, accuse you of anything, threaten you, or say anything belittling.
I've removed the names/emails from the original post and sent some private email to the author encouraging him to post here, but asking him to refrain from posting information on others and soliciting emails to them.
Thanks all. Now, let's leave that part behind us....
Any other constructive feedback on the underlying situation would be great.
I don't know your situation but I would have thought that if you, your wife and your kids are happy you can ignore any criticism from your ex or her boyfriend. If your 16 year old is around your family enough she can decide for herself what she thinks. Have her visit as often as she can.
Richard, I think your ex criticizes from the place that you have what she doesn't have. That is the stability, love and dedication with your current wife and family that is perhaps missing from her life. You seem like you are coming from a good and happy place and that their criticisms should not effect you. Your 16 year old daughter is mature enough to see the difference in your lives and may grow frustrated with the consatant criticisms she hears from her mother and the revolving cast of boyfriends. Her mother obviously does not know the damage she is doing to her relationship with her own daughter by doing so.
So, don't fall prey to her game. Just be yourself and be the best husband, father and human being you can be. You don't need to recruit anybody here to tell her she's being a jerk and wrong about at-home dads or anything. I highly doubt anyone here is going to do anything like that anyway. (especially since our webmaster has removed the addy's!) Who she's being is resigned and cynical and with those blinders on, she'll never see much light in anything.
Just keep on keepin on! Be well!
Brian
Richard, listen to this guy, those are good words spoken from a warrior.
This is not the place for vengance.
Brian, I thought that was you, I'd recognize that mug anywhere! Turning digital is humbling huh?
Great advice to this post my man!
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