To tread on the Dad's hallowed piece of cyber space? Noooo............
It may be good but a lot of Dads might feel that the Mom is invading their space. I know that if our mom would visit this site I would have to filter my comments and maybe get an approval before posting as she would have her own thoghts and ideas what should be said here.
I am new to the site and the reason for that is because it is a "Dad" site.
I like the fact that I have a voice here as a male father figure without the interuption of a female counterpart.
Nothing agaisnt my wife or the other women but it is nice to gather here to express our thoughts without a females perspective which we all get at home.
We've tried it in both of the AHD groups I've been in...and it never took off with either. The reason was simple...like many wage earners in a one-income family, our wives work hard, many of them travel for their jobs, many of them work long hours...while they had the theoretical interest, they just didn't have the real time to participate...or, rather, choose to dedicate their valuable free time towards other family or personal interests. That said, if there is a group of wive's of at-home Dads clamoring for a forum, I think it would be appropriate for athomedad.org to host it.
I would say NO because even though working moms for at home dads have issues they are different than what we face so they really wouldn't have much to offer here. I think there own site would be much more productive for everybody.
I think the way EricsWife and others have handled it is fine. They are welcome, just let them start their own thread. We can read, comment or ignore if we want to.
I see I missed the poll really, the decision has been made. But I just wanted to take a chance to explain why I think that 'Yes' is a good option.
I think that we have largely excluded women from a place where they could potentially ask questions that might help their relationship at home, their husbands lives, and as a direct result their children.
We claim to be for the children, but then both SAHM and SAHD sites are largely guilty of excluding the other side, however research has clearly shown that a good relationship between mother and father is a HUGE contributor to the happiness and in turn behavior of a child.
By refusing to give women a place to ask questions, we have told them that even though they seek an answer to questions that may determine the difference between happiness and misery for their families, we do not want them to ask. Because we do not feel welcome in groups with women, we do not want women to feel welcome in groups with men. So we can kiss the concept of "for the children" good bye, since this attitude is only meant to serve us, and us alone. I challenge anyone to prove to me that a "No Girls Allowed" site is a positive message for a child, and that it does not in any way support gender segregation. So what is it, are we trying to teach our children to respect their mothers and their fathers, that we are all equals? Or are we trying to show them that only works for public television, and when it comes to the real world, equality is a Utopian concept, and has no place in reality?
I would like to know that when it comes my time to be a working father, and my wife is at home, there are places out there that I can turn to, to get unbiased* perspectives from other AHM's, advice that could mean the difference between a happy, or very unhappy, marriage.
* Unbiased: I mean not from my wife, when she's pissed at me because I forgot to take the garbage out.
I guess I didn't really say why I thought a separate section would be good. Because other Dads seem to feel that women are invading their space, I was thinking separate section would segregate those questions from the General Discussion and would make it part of the site, without making those Moms actual contributors to the regular discussions.
I think if other members prefer women didn't take part in regular discussions because they might not understand our perspective, that is a fair request and if I were a woman I would honor it. Also, I think the section would need to be specifically for asking for advice regarding AHD's and not for ranting or bitching about AHD's.
Mike, I can't vote because of that problem I have with the overlapping boxes that I have. ----
Although I agree that it has been tried before on different dads lists/sites and failed, there are a active wives of stay at home dads lists.
I, for one, feel that if this site wants to be the site for at home dads, it should have a section for our wives if they want to use it. What different does it make if it is used rarely anyway? We would be using the main, this section, for our us.
All of the comments on this topic are valid, either way you side here. We should want to go out of our way to see we allow women even though we are routinely excluded form moms groups. And I completely understand how it feels to be routinely excluded and the thoughts of, WHY should we go out of our way? When you put up with it all the time, it can really wear on you.
I just think there could be a way to make this happen and make it work.
As a new poster here, I have to say that what I like about this site so far is that it is actually a site for dad's populated by dads. I would hate to see that change. All of the places, like Parenting and Babycenter, seem to be mostly populated in the dads section by women who want to know why their men are not doing what they want them to. I would hate to see this place turn into the same thing.
All of the places, like Parenting and Babycenter, seem to be mostly populated in the dads section by women who want to know why their men are not doing what they want them to. I would hate to see this place turn into the same thing.
Yeah, I have to agree with that. That's one of the reasons why I started this site...
You Mean?
To tread on the Dad's hallowed piece of cyber space? Noooo............
It may be good but a lot of Dads might feel that the Mom is invading their space. I know that if our mom would visit this site I would have to filter my comments and maybe get an approval before posting as she would have her own thoghts and ideas what should be said here.
My Site, http://www.milehidad.com/ and my Blog, http://www.milehighdad.net/
Make Babies, Not War!
I Wanna Know How Forever Feels...
Uhhh nah!!
I am new to the site and the reason for that is because it is a "Dad" site.
I like the fact that I have a voice here as a male father figure without the interuption of a female counterpart.
Nothing agaisnt my wife or the other women but it is nice to gather here to express our thoughts without a females perspective which we all get at home.
Tried it elsewhere, failed
We've tried it in both of the AHD groups I've been in...and it never took off with either. The reason was simple...like many wage earners in a one-income family, our wives work hard, many of them travel for their jobs, many of them work long hours...while they had the theoretical interest, they just didn't have the real time to participate...or, rather, choose to dedicate their valuable free time towards other family or personal interests. That said, if there is a group of wive's of at-home Dads clamoring for a forum, I think it would be appropriate for athomedad.org to host it.
- Andy
- Andy
____________________________________
KCDADs: www.groups.yahoo.com/group/kcdad/
12th Annual At-Home Dads' Convention: www.athomedadconvention.com
No for me
I would say NO because even though working moms for at home dads have issues they are different than what we face so they really wouldn't have much to offer here. I think there own site would be much more productive for everybody.
I'm Not a Slacker
Nothing special
I think the way EricsWife and others have handled it is fine. They are welcome, just let them start their own thread. We can read, comment or ignore if we want to.
In My BlogRoll
ParenTeam Blog
Living Peacefully With a Stay-at-Home Dad
@
http://www.parenteam.com/dad-blog.html
My Site, http://www.milehidad.com/ and my Blog, http://www.milehighdad.net/
Make Babies, Not War!
I Wanna Know How Forever Feels...
Thanks
Well, that's pretty decisive. Ok....no "other half" section. Democracy in action....
Thanks.
Guess I'm too late...
I see I missed the poll really, the decision has been made. But I just wanted to take a chance to explain why I think that 'Yes' is a good option.
I think that we have largely excluded women from a place where they could potentially ask questions that might help their relationship at home, their husbands lives, and as a direct result their children.
We claim to be for the children, but then both SAHM and SAHD sites are largely guilty of excluding the other side, however research has clearly shown that a good relationship between mother and father is a HUGE contributor to the happiness and in turn behavior of a child.
By refusing to give women a place to ask questions, we have told them that even though they seek an answer to questions that may determine the difference between happiness and misery for their families, we do not want them to ask. Because we do not feel welcome in groups with women, we do not want women to feel welcome in groups with men. So we can kiss the concept of "for the children" good bye, since this attitude is only meant to serve us, and us alone. I challenge anyone to prove to me that a "No Girls Allowed" site is a positive message for a child, and that it does not in any way support gender segregation. So what is it, are we trying to teach our children to respect their mothers and their fathers, that we are all equals? Or are we trying to show them that only works for public television, and when it comes to the real world, equality is a Utopian concept, and has no place in reality?
I would like to know that when it comes my time to be a working father, and my wife is at home, there are places out there that I can turn to, to get unbiased* perspectives from other AHM's, advice that could mean the difference between a happy, or very unhappy, marriage.
* Unbiased: I mean not from my wife, when she's pissed at me because I forgot to take the garbage out.
I meant to add..
I guess I didn't really say why I thought a separate section would be good. Because other Dads seem to feel that women are invading their space, I was thinking separate section would segregate those questions from the General Discussion and would make it part of the site, without making those Moms actual contributors to the regular discussions.
I think if other members prefer women didn't take part in regular discussions because they might not understand our perspective, that is a fair request and if I were a woman I would honor it. Also, I think the section would need to be specifically for asking for advice regarding AHD's and not for ranting or bitching about AHD's.
Grr..
Internal Server Error, double posted my comment. Sorry.
The poll is still open
I think those are all valid points. The poll is still open (I just took it off the front page).
If the consensus changes, I'm still open to it. For the time being, I'll focus my attention on other things (like tracking down the errors....).
Can't Vote, but I say Yes
Mike, I can't vote because of that problem I have with the overlapping boxes that I have. ----
Although I agree that it has been tried before on different dads lists/sites and failed, there are a active wives of stay at home dads lists.
I, for one, feel that if this site wants to be the site for at home dads, it should have a section for our wives if they want to use it. What different does it make if it is used rarely anyway? We would be using the main, this section, for our us.
All of the comments on this topic are valid, either way you side here. We should want to go out of our way to see we allow women even though we are routinely excluded form moms groups. And I completely understand how it feels to be routinely excluded and the thoughts of, WHY should we go out of our way? When you put up with it all the time, it can really wear on you.
I just think there could be a way to make this happen and make it work.
Mike Stilwell
Daddyshome, Inc.
DC Metro Dads
It may be unfounded but...
As a new poster here, I have to say that what I like about this site so far is that it is actually a site for dad's populated by dads. I would hate to see that change. All of the places, like Parenting and Babycenter, seem to be mostly populated in the dads section by women who want to know why their men are not doing what they want them to. I would hate to see this place turn into the same thing.
Greg
Have to agree
Yeah, I have to agree with that. That's one of the reasons why I started this site...