Yes, it's increased dramatically over the last year and especially the last few months.

What about "tasteful" nudes???

Seriously, I enjoy the community on this site more than anything and I feel that maybe it's being cooped up this winter that has given all of us all the slappy's (which has led to many a strange posting). As this site grows and develops, we shouldn't lose the sense of community that it provides. Where else can a group of AHD's congregate and act like a group of AHM's? Right here, of course.
Mike is doing a great job of allowing us into the sandbox to play, so maybe a little bit of self governing is better than coming down on guys like the SS of the Third Reich. If someone has a question or just feels like he needs to relate to someone with similar duties, I say let him. If someone misbehaves, we put them in a cage match with TickTock at the convention, and... PRESTO, problem solved!

I do want to make one suggestion on possibly improving the randomness of some of the threads. It seems to me that at one time or another (maybe even now), we all have a skill that led us into responsible adulthood and managed to ride that skill right up until we ditched it for greener pastures. There is such a diverse group of guys here (Doctors, Lawyers and Indian Chiefs, so to speak) why not try to harness some of that knowledge by starting a section called "ask the (so-called) expert". It would be helpful if I needed an answer about kitchen knives or nuclear physics answered by a guy on this site who was the resident "expert" without wading through all of the "smarty-pants" answers in the general discussion area. (Before you throw fruit at me, I like smarty-pants answers, so don't stop). Maybe set up a list of choices and have whatever the choice is, say construction or plumbing, or electrical work and have that thread swing through my profile (as a licensed general contractor, I'm a "so-called expert" in those fields) and I'd be happy to help in any way I can. Remember, I swing a hammer, so maybe the technical logistics are way beyond my comprehension, (my computer skills give me AHD.org, Email and porn) but certainly we have someone in here that can make it work? It may be that much more rewarding to log into AHD.org someday to find some comraderie, share a joke, and get an answer about changing diapers, writing a book, or fixing your sink. Just a suggestion.

Aye, there's nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased scotsman...

I know other boards allow splitting the threads into categorys so that if I don't want to read about threads related to Alabama, I don't even have to see them.

Is there a way to split the baord into folders of "Actual parenting stuff", "Random threads about coffee and hobbies", and a folder for "naked pictures, discussions of sex toys, or post here to argue with eachother"

Otherwise, I'd just say leave it as it is and smack knuckles as neccessary.

www.athomedadconvention.com

There are already different discussion forums that serve as "categories". They are easy to add/delete/change. The problem is that everyone mostly puts everything into the "general discussion" forum. Maybe this is because the available forums aren't useful, or maybe is because it's lazy/easy to put it in "general discussion". I have also been lazy in moving posts around to put them in the appropriate forums.

The different forums show up when you click on "discussions" at the top. They are also available when you create a new post (http://www.athomedad.org/node/add/forum) - there's a drop down list near the top.

Take a look at the list, and let me know if some different forums would be more useful.

Separately, in addition to the different discussion forums, it's also possible to tag or categorize any post with any other sort of additional categorization system or systems. For example, at the moment, new posts can be tagged with a state if they're particularly relevant to that state (it's in a drop down list when you create a new post.) I can enable other types of categorization systems if we think it would be useful.

Right now, I'm still also interested in the guidelines/rules type of stuff from the original post. So, please continue with the suggestions on that if you have any.

Thanks.

I am a big fan of the pop culture type threads and the joke threads. Those are things that help build the community.

In terms of accurate and unbiased reporting The Wall Street Journal has my vote for best American News Paper. But…I am a Democrat and I skip the editorials if they start to upset me or I disagree with them in such a way as to not want to make me keep reading. I don’t want to give the Journal up so I am selective. I am also selective about the threads on this site. If something is not to my liking I click on another thread.

If all of this is stemming from the Sex Toys thread I can’t disagree more as to it’s relevance on this site. We are men, and men are not open and candid with each other when it comes to asking for help in this department. Many of us live in out of the way, or rural areas, where stores carrying erotica are not as easily located. (Or if they are we are uncomfortable going to them.) I for one was happy to see other men discussing keeping the fires lit in their monogamous relationship with their partner or spouse.

More than once I have turned to my anon friends via this board for support when I knew of no other place to get it. (Please see my Feeling Low post.) Not to mention we all helped out Manhattandad when he was in crisis and, I think, felt we were going to be rude to him.

I agree we drift a little now and then but I can face up to the fact I have a lot of time to fill and posting about Batman or movies and such helps me feel in the loop with other men who have the same “job” as I do.

Be Seeing You.
Jonathan

Jim L wrote:
>>"Do we really want dildos on our billboard?

You're absolutely right Jim, you should leave ....... :-)

Tim
- taking an easy one....

"This place is like a billboard on the internet for SAHDs. Do we really want dildos and petty arguments on our billboard?"

That's the second time you've made an allusion to the discussion forum being representative of at-home Dads. The discussion forum is just a place to talk with each other. It isn't a pep rally for AHDs.

A forum has many moving parts. It is made up of various types of people with various interests, behaviors, and opinions. Putting aside the fact that the issues of dildos and petty arguments were polled and that the majority didn't care, what gives any one person the right to declare what messages go on the AHD "billboard". Who are you to say what represents the average Dad? Who are you to start writing our billboard to please your own sense of identity?

"Self-regulating is fine, but what gives someone standing to call someone out in the name of bad taste? Age? More kids? More posts? Longer AHD? Dad points? Bigger schlong?"

Oh brother. This is the type of mod-nazi shit that you claim won't happen with mods. What gives someone the right to call someone out on bad taste? The fact that he is a human and an American. What gives you or your potential mod-police the standing to say that someone's opinion is unfair and unworthy of discussion? Call me an asshole all you want. I could care less. But don't try to control a forum because you disagree with my message or how I deliver it.

You've got it in your head that this place will be ruined by open and honest conversation. Wrong. It will be ruined by this type of over-analyzing of opinions and attitudes that are different than yours. Learn to live in a world where people are free to be snarky, kind, belligerent, honest, funny, intelligent, stupid, and any other adjective you can imagine. That is what a discussion forum is all about. That part of the site is a place to discuss things, not a place for AHD public relations. Go to rebeldad.com for cheerleading. Go to the discussion forums to discuss.

Tim, et al,

Did you guys know that "DILDO" spelled backwards is "ODLID?" I bet you didn't. Well, do you know why that is significant? I didn't think you did.

"ODLID" is an acronym for "One Day in the Life of Ivan Denosivich." See http://www.acronymfinder.com/acronym.aspx?rec={0E6AB1D6-4782-4E41-901D-8615343B36EC}

"One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich" is a story by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, originally published in November 1962 in the Soviet literary magazine Novy Mir. It is set in a Soviet labor camp in the 1950s, and describes a single day for an ordinary prisoner, Ivan Denisovich Shukhov. Its appearance was an extraordinary event in Soviet literary history—never before had such an account of "Stalinist repression" been openly distributed.
See http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/One+Day+in+the+Life+of+Ivan+Denisovich.

Coincidence, Gentleman? I think not!

that the forums need more structure.

From the beginning, I and others were led to believe that this was the site somehow chosen to replace Slowlane as the main presence of the SAHD community on the internet.

I am not making that up. Whether it came from Mike or whether the message was distorted through the grapevine, I do not know. This is the site hooked up with the convention, too, which gives it status. THE Oasis.

Should there be an ability for free for all posting and adult discussion and ragging on your buds? Absolutely.

But here, where the content is largely driven by the message board posts, I worry about the perception of SAHDs. Why worry about an obscure blog by a naive reporter when our own web site projects a negative image anyway.

I Googled SAHD Forum, and it led to this post -- http://www.athomedad.org/node/1795 -- the infamous plug for distatica's web site. That thread was awful.

Do you not even see that your criticism of my stating my opinion that the site could use structure and should project a positive image is as much censorship as anything I have stated. I am for the free exchange of ideas/opinions/whatever. I am not for the extreme/potentially controversial opinions headlining the main page under 'What's New at AHD.org'.

Regarding the polls, the responses are low, and by the people who have been having the conversations. I'd like to hear from the 32 guests online right now, assuming they are not all bots, to see what they think of all this. Those are the votes that matter, and those could be the SAHDs that are being discouraged from reaching out here.

About the 'standing' issue that you quoted, I was obviously out of line in the music thread, because I thought the posts on DKremers were out of line. Ten guys could have piled on telling me how wrong I was. I would have probably told them to pound sand, because I thought I was right. But if a mod shot me a message saying I should back off there, I would respect it. If a mod deleted my spaz out, I would understand. (I actually had a post deleted last night. Don't talk to me about mod-nazi shit -- it was something borderline but kind of funny. I understand the zap.)

I am not trying to control anything, and my identity is fine, thanks. I see this web site as much more important than you do, apparently, and it seemed to me it is heading south. Forums are dynamic entities like you said. For this reason, though, we should be responsible for making sure the board stays in line with what the site stands for.

I have been in forums as long as they have been, when every page started with a blinking cursor. I have seen these issues cycle through countless groups. I assume GWB knows what I am talking about. Sometimes, members run a board into the ground. Sometimes mods drive people away. I think we are better than that here, and I would think a compromise would be reached. Sometimes, people get together and reinvent a group and it thrives. Maybe we are not headed there yet, but I would bet it is not far off.

While posts are there proclaiming how loud 'we' are and how much 'we' are going to drink at the convention, 'we' need to remember, I'd think, that the quiet guy who doesn't drink and is shy might be discouraged from attending the convention or even posting an important question to the board. That is a far bigger tragedy than any bickering here.

I just think the wheat should be separated from the chaff, so to speak, so that someone coming here in need of help can find it, while the venting, ranting, and BS has its place too.

First of all, that was quite the piece of literary allusion by JPhilip. ;-)

The sex toys discussion was very appropriate for this board in my opinion since sex is a very important part of any relationship, especially the long-term relationships that most of us -- if not all of us -- are in. If you can't ask other men about this type of stuff, then I don't know who you can ask. And I really don't think that anyone searching for "sex toys" on google is going to really spend any kind of significant time browsing our site. Also, I talked to my wife about this kind of post. She frequents mommy boards, and she told me that posts like this are very common. If our girlfriends and wives think it's OK to talk about, then it should be more than OK for us to talk about it.

I agree with everything that Colin said in his last post. We don't want to go down a path of moderation that will have a negative affect on the message boards. However, I do think there are appropriate places for a moderator: (1) when posts are obviously in a wrong category, (2) when spam hits the site, (3) when people are being downright nasty to each other, and (4) when someone requests the assistance of a moderator for any of the above. Besides that, we should all be man enough here to realize that we should all be treated with respect and dignity.

Randy
Cincinnati, OH
SAHD to Ryder (23 months)

Do you not see how you are constantly contradicting yourself in your own thoughts. You can't have it both ways, my friend.

So you were sold on something that didn't quite turn out the way you imagined it when the site first began? Oh well. As the site membership has grown, so has the site activity, and so has the number of opinions. Mike has most graciously made this site a democracy and given us all a voice. And, according to the polls, your opinion is in the minority. Therefore, you can continue to preach to the wind, or you can attempt to transform yourself as the forum itself transforms.

I am more than happy to hear and acknowledge your opinion, but you cannot possibly be serious in saying this, can you?!?

Just for the record, I was one of those quiet guys who doesn't drink much and is shy, and I was lurking here for quite some time before I posted. As I read the threads, I felt a genuine sense of camaraderie here, and I finally found myself posting. Now I post regularly, and I am very interested in coming to the convention. So, this "argument" of yours is a bit of a moot point.

Randy
Cincinnati, OH
SAHD to Ryder (23 months)

I am sure that you are wrong here. There is a difference between what is allowed in a forum and what is 'Advertised' as site content on the Main Page. The Sex Toy thread is tame and civil, but could be offensive. What if a radical conservative extremist bigot SAHD made a thread "When Will G-D Smite the Homosexuals?" or "Should the Blacks be sent Back?" Would you want those messages up in lights on the main page? I hope not, but the way it is now, that is what would happen. And as everyone jumps in to berate this guy, they bump the post and it stays in the headlines until Mike is notified.

If there is a mod watching, this is stopped. Sure this is extreme, and the line should be appropriately drawn. Maybe only the forums like AHD News, Dads Helping Dads, or Convention News feed the frame on the main page. The Sex and Relationship forum can thrive as a forum without the thread titles represented as what AHD.org is. Properly divided and titled forums allow for more freedom of discussion, not less -- anyone jumping in there should know what to expect.

Well, not exactly. There were several options, and rather than create more division among SAHDs, at the convention, we agreed to be sending people here instead of anyplace else. The thought was it was to be THE main resource. If it is not, and it is just to be another souped up message board where anything goes, I'll drop this whole deal and move on.

I think that obtaining the dot org is another aspect that connotes some sort of service is provided here, besides message boards.

I am serious. This is a web site I care about and it represents a cause I care about. I am offering suggestions based on experience on how this can be a better online resource for SAHDs. I know I have no power here and I could not control anything if I wanted to.