OK I know we have a ton of non-sports dads on this site but ESPN2 columnist Bill Simmons wrote this mini-rant during one of his recent columns that I thought was kinda funny....especially since I'm in a only child world right now:
That reminds me, somebody needs to launch a Web site for anyone thinking about having two or more kids. The Web site would be called "Why Didn't You Effing Tell Me?" and would include the following features:
# The "Why Didn't You Effing Tell Me?" Blog, in which dads rip into their buddies for not warning them to stick with one kid.
# A quote page of deranged things said by mothers melting down as both of their kids were crying at the same time; stuff like, "I swear to God, I'm going to stick this baby in the microwave soon and defrost him!" and "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU WANTED TWO, I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!!!!"
# A detailed explanation of my buddy Sully's 12 Percent Theory, which can be described in one sentence like this: "Assuming women start out at 100 percent on the Sanity Scale, every time she passes a living being out of her body, she becomes 12 percent less sane." By the way, this is why Hillary Clinton can run for president -- she only had one kid, so she's operating at 88 percent capacity. Still much higher than George W. Bush.
# Transcripts of incoherent shouting matches between sleep-deprived parents.
# Live webcams featuring streaming video inside the living rooms of families with two or more kids. And before anyone decides to have a second kid, by federal law, they'd have to spend three hours surfing around this Web site.







Joined: 2006-11-13
Dad Points: 426