Disclaimer: I am one of those dads that raise my voice a lot...
Oh, and this is intended to entertain, please don't take anything out of context, or misunderstand the attempts at humor.

So, I had a parenting epiphany this morning. I've always known that yelling is not effective, and in fact, just makes things worse. Especially modelling bad behavior. Anyway, this morning I didn't yell at all. My kids listened to everything I said. It was glorious.

This may be no surprise to those of you who have already conquered the tendancy to holler at you offspring, or those of you who never had it. (I've heard of these men, but still regard them as urban legend.) For those that haven't, it is worth great personal sacrifice to experience. How, you ask, is one to prepare himself for such a journey? I have tried many times in the past, with short term success, only to fall back on old habits. For me, it was not a choice this morning. You see, I had a skull-splitting migraine. Every sound was amplified beyond imagination, the whole world seemed unstable as my surroundings swirled about me, my ability to process thought was slowed to a near halt, and of course, every movement was dragged out to a snails pace. Bending down to retrieve a dropped sippy cup nearl did me in. All this made me appreciate how the world could seem to a small child, while operating as well as I could within my limited capacity. The result is described above.

So you can't conjure a dibilitating migraine on command? Try forcing a baseball cap on your head that is two sizes too small just before bed. Give your toddler a blunt instrument and expose the top of your noggin to repeated blows. Drink a whole lot of really cheap booze. Give up sleep for four days. Perhaps a bungee jump, over concrete.

The next time I catch myself about to shout, all I have to do is remember this post and I'll be fine.