Be thankful she's hitting the face...all 3 of ours when they discovered hitting thought it was great fun to whack dad in the crotch any chance they got. Thank goodness they out grow that one! Anyway...we used time outs with all 3 of ours from about 1 on (maybe a few months into the 1 year old stage). Our youngest actually has spent a lot of time in time out for hitting. My advice to you is to stop sitting there with her. It's good you ignore her, but she needs to be alone so there's nothing to see from you. This means she will probably start getting out at first and you'll have to do the putting her back thing and still ignore her. I'm guessing you also already do this, but as much as possible she needs to tell you why she was in time out when she is finished and apologize for what she did that was wrong. For the most part it works with our 3. Good luck!

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I don't think time-out works before age two, but I do think you should ask for a "sorry" and explain what she did wrong. She thinks hitting is a game. Stop the game by avoiding any reactions she might consider the "effect" to her "cause". Easier said than done, I know.

The rule of thumb is one minute for every year of age, so you could put her in time out for one minute and a half. Honestly, they never really worked on our second son until he was over two because he thought it was cool. Timeouts were always something he had seen his older brother do, and he thought he must be a big boy now.

What JPhllip said about the time is true, we started time outs at around 18 months, they worked for a while but then he really hated them and got violent and trashed his room if he got sent there for time out. Overall time outs in the room sucked, I got in trouble by mom for who knows what AND, I got to clean the room so bedtime can happen.
We also made him sit on the living room couch alone, no binkie, no blanket, no bear with no toys in sight for the same time out time and if he moved off it, it was another minute added on. He learned real quick not to get off the couch THEN, got off the couch when it was OK with a BIG attitude adjustment. HINT** set the stove timer so it beeps or buzzes when time is up and tell them when it beeps you can go.
I would say that the couch isolation with time added on if they move worked the best for us, but everbody's kid is different so play with it, BUT be consistent after a couple time outs. We also called the couch isolation a time out.

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and being quiet, Its the isolation from affection ( Good or bad , little one don't care if its a yell or a kiss it's still attention { they would prefer a kiss you hope} ) When I put my 2.6 in time out it is in a hallway on the floor with nothing in reach or view. After that I have her come to me and I explain what she was in time out for. We don't hit ( a calm voice ) when you hit you make Daddy sad. Even if you don't think they can handle the talk still do it , to set up the understanding for the future. and the biggest thing is to have a consistent front if you do it, so does your wife. Have a talk with her on the standards of which you can both tolerate and the thresholds for such behavior.
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Hi gentlemen,

I was interested in this post, and was prepared to reply with a summary of time-out, punishment, and teaching new behaviors but then I heard Alan Kazdin on NPR's Parent Journal. He summarizes this well in the interview. The podcast isn't available yet, but should be in a day or so. In the meantime check out some of the other topics.

http://www.parentsjournal.com/welcome

Mike B

Some other things that have worked well:

-Use positive praise with everything to where they understand. If you're already at this point great. Then use the words 'Nice' & 'No Hit'. You can show them 'Nice' using gentle touch (nod your head yes). With 'No Hit' (nod your head no). When you see it coming let out a loud firm command, 'Nice' or 'No Hit' (alternate between the 2 and use there name before or after the command), when they stop the act, immediately praise them (Good girl/boy, good job, nice behavior etc.)
Show affection (hug, kiss).

-Use age appropriate physical play (rough housing, tickling etc.) and other forms of affection. A great one for hitting is to teach them and play Hi 5, Patty Cake, Ring around the Rosy, London Bridge, ect.. They usually love these and it's a great way to divert to an appropriate physical outlet.

-Do not use a time out as a way of withholding affection or attention as punishment or teach such. Withholding affection or attention to gain compliance is manipulation, which will only lead to problems latter on. Sometimes hitting is related to a child's request for one or both. Yes, it's okay to leave them alone or ignore outbursts but this is not part of the punishment (rather to not reinforce the behavior by giving it attention). A time out or quiet time is best used as punishment for specific inappropriate behavior, removal of the privileges they would normal have would be the main focus (especially later on as rationals can be used with teaching/parenting). It may not make sense or matter to the child at such an age, but like with other things that are alright to start early, is at least good prep for the parent.

Gentlemen,

I have 2 boys under 2 in the house (23 months & 10 months) so I now have my 23 month attacking my 10 month in a playful manner but sometimes dangerous. Time outs barely work in my house. Surprisingly, the thing that has worked in talking. As it is happening, I take him to the side and explain to him that the hitting may hurt his brother or anyone and it will make them cry. I didn't realize that it worked until one day, I acted like I was cry and he said "Don't cry Dally, I'm sorry". I was so amazed that I almost began to really cry. I have come to realize that my boys really understand when I speak to them as though they are little people, even my 10 month old. The kids today are very smart and pick up things so much faster than when we were little.

I am very new to this website and I really enjoyed all of your responses and I look forward to more dialogue. I hope that you appreciate my contributions as I will yours.

Ty

The only guy who is/was hit by their 18 mo old? JMP -- fear not. My pugilist defensive skills have improved immensely since our kids arrived. Nevermind the fact that my 16 mo old loves pounding on me (laughs, it's fun, blah blah blah). Just before my son turned two, he hit -- in anger -- my wife and I multiple times . . . in the face . . . on an airplane . . . prior to takeoff.

US Air. LAX. One mean flight attendant said they may have to ask us to go (I actually would have understood). Another came back with the PILOT no less and said that, after talking with us (we gambled), she felt confident that he'd settle down once the plane started moving. The pilot said fine. Our son did calm down. Prior to staying at home, I traveled a lot and never again complained when I was seated near a crying child. I was that parent once.

FWIW, he totally outgrew it (and started dreading the consequences of any sort of punishment whatsoever) but a few months later. Now, he cries whenever he senses that we are disappointed in him.

I believe Seinfeld calls this "hand."

Oh, what, you want me to answer your question? My fault -- so selfish of me to tell my story. Ha -- timeouts started working best on X at two -- definitely had to replace him in the chair whenever he jumped out. Still use TO today (used it once tonight, as a matter of fact) -- I think it works much better than the wiffleball bat my mom employed back in the day.