DTMFA!!! :)
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http://www.altparenting.com

But from a distance, it looks like your heading down a bad road. Change directions. Listen to Dayv. Talk. If that doesn't help, get a professional third ear to listen. I know you're just venting, and we all need to do that occasionally. But you better take control of the problem before it controls you. (Dear Abby, signing off....)

You didn't say "damn good looking" in the first post. I change my stance entirely.

Sorry to goof on your rant. I know that you're being honest, and you deserve some better feedback than what I can give. Just know that you don't deserve to be treated poorly, no matter how pretty she is, how old she is, or how much money she makes. A lot of this passive agressive bickering comes out because of other unspoken problems. Root out the psychological core of the problem, and you might just find something worth talking about.

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http://www.altparenting.com

Hey BAKEDMEDIA,
Belive it or not this is a common occurance in married life. AHD or not. Suzy Orman talks quite a bit about how the person in a relationship who makes the most money often feels as if they should have the most control. My wife is equitable in her treatment of money but occasionaly buys something she feels is OK because she makes the money. She gives me cash for an account I have to run the house, etc. But recently we agreed to put the house on the AMEX. So recently it has turned out to be my money for "stuff." I get books or see a movie if I have a day off. I don't feel about about being a 36 year old with an allowance becasue damit I have earned it! You are supposed to be in a union. That is easy to say but not always easy to act out. I had an enforced friend (girlfriend of an acctual friend) who felt no matter what she did it was "the hardest," she was always, "the least understood." She insited once after we had both been sick that her fever had been higher than mine thus she had suffered more. The way to "get to" her was not feed the beast, not feed her gapping maw of an ego. She hatted it and it casued friction but we found a way to co exist. This is much harder in a marrage. You can always keep books for what you spend on the house, how much of her income goes here and there. If you do that include what she spends on things that she hasn't consulted you about. My wife and I have a $60 celing. Neither of us have ever said no but as it has been said it keeps us talking about money and shows we respect each other. I think the "R" word here is key cause if the purse strings are closed and so are the legs? Then you probably have respect issues. Not to mention - plese understand I don't want to insult you- but you invalidate yourself saying, "I've shared all my 30+ year of corporate experience with her when she asked and she has climbed to an executive level fast (and I'll be the first to give her all the credit), but now its like I'm some old fart who doesn't have a clue "

Own it mate! Own how you feel and what it is you do out of love of your children. She needs to understand that you have sacraficed for her success as well as the future of your kids. Oh...never use the words, "control freak."

Be Seeing You.

I’m not sure this sit-chee-atchin and be fixed. What it can be is changed.

R-e-s-p-e-c-t? I mean you Bill! Respect that you are the best at what you do. There are others as good but no one better. Respect that you are a mushroom cloud laying motherfu*ker when it comes to your responsibilities in your family. You enable your wife the steady home so she can be comfortable at work knowing here children are in the care of Dad not a stranger. You keep the house, no small task, and are there for your lovely kids 24/7.

Being an AHD isn’t a fall back position for weenies that can’t make it in “the real world.” Many of the men on this site were huge successes in other fields from the sciences to a submariner. Some of us were moved to this position by circumstances but many of us chose to be at home. You have that choice too. You can talk to your wife about day care if she feels that would be more economic. Heck you look into it on your own and see how much YOU make. This is an old joke but it’s true, most AHPs are really making about 100K a year. An AHD is a front line soldier in the world. Just like his female counterparts. You have a very hard job. It’s frustrating to leave a structured biz environment for the more free flow of the home. It is much less satisfying in terms of feeling like you completed something or that you have the respect or even the friendship of co-workers. It’s isolating and draining…but…if you don’t give yourself due than who will? I’m sure your wife feels many complex emotions about being bread winner, and she may have a touch of “Mommy Guilt” but you explore how you feel first. Then see what follows.

I hope that helps. :-)

~Jonathan

Be Seeing You.

Thank you brinac. You flatter me.
I try. I've had a shite load of veeery good thearpy. I'm just spreading the love. One must always belive they are kicking a and taking numbers no matter what it is they do in life. If you don't belive you are doing a great job then no one will.

Except Ms. Ferrier.

Be Seeing You.

You guys really have helped and have great suggestions. I'll save them all. On the home front I've spent the day prepping for my 13 year olds birthday party / sleepover with five friends... plus the wife and our ten year old. So far everything is going great. After picking up the cake I got home just in time to meet a florist at the house and took the flowers in for my daughter, after an hour I glanced at the card, and yep, they were for me... "DEAR BILL, YOU ARE THE BEST FATHER AND HUSBAND A GIRL COULD EVER ASK FOR. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING YOU DO - YOU'RE THE BEST! LOVE ALWAYS, CARRIE"

Well, shucks.... Just when you think you know something they go and do this. Heck, This might even be my lucky night! Cheers to you all and again, I am so glad I found the site and thanks for everyones support. Maybe I was holding my head a little higher the last few days and as you've mentioned, I had respect and confidence and she noticed.

Best to everyone! TGIF!