Dump her. If she sees your kids as competiton she has the problem not you. My cousin sees her kids and my siter and I in this light. My mum never called her on it and a few years ago I went off on my coz. I haven't spoken to her since. You're lucky in that you aren't related. You can be honest and say, " I'm not confortable with the way you bost about your children all the time. I thought we were getting together to let them play. I know your kids are bright and you are a good Mom so you can drop the act."

I mean if you want to that is. Chances are she will see your honesty as a challenge and turn it around on you but hey..I'm sure you can cope with that if you can cope with her now.

Be Seeing You.

Uhh, yeah. First, decide if you want to keep her as a friend.

If so, go with Backpacking Dad's advice over the others.

My opinion: It's generally better to have more friends than fewer. If that's your only complaint, I'm sure you can work it out.

Also, a lot of people tend to be very concerned about baby milestones. Perhaps this is just the way her insecurities about that are coming out. As the kids get older, the baby milestones become fewer and less important, and it's likely that the problem might fade away.

Do the other moms fell the same way as you and are you sure her child didn't do all the things she is one-uping you on? Otherwise call her up on it but do it on a one on one. You don't want to come across as an ars in front of the others. You maybe correct on her insecurities as a parent, but bring that up in front of other will make you out to be the bad guy.

Yes, I generally agree with all of that too. But...you don't necessarily have to tell people to "frak off" over one issue that's likely to go away in time anyway or can possibly be solved in a constructive way. It's not about tiptoeing. Everyone has some issue so, if you're telling everyone to "frak off" too quickly, you're likely to end up without any friends at all. And, that's a pretty sad and lonely way to live. Being an AHD is isolating enough - why make it worse?

Isn't it a bit silly to go directly from "hmm...what should I do, we've never had one conversation about this" to "frack off"? Telling people off has it's place, but perhaps there's an intermediate step or two that would be sensible?

This I agree with. Are your kids are getting something out playing with each other? That's certainly worth something. Another possible option is to have the kids play without the parents hanging out (trade babysitting or whatever).

In any case, my point was not "be phony friends with people that suck". It was: some approaches are more likely to maintain a friendship than others. All I said was "decide if you want to be friends with her" and proceed accordingly.

On the other hand, perhaps the one-time emotional relief of telling someone off is more valuable than (this particular) friendship for you or your kids. I doubt that's the case, but maybe it is. If so, then proceed accordingly that way.

I might want to explain myself a little more.
There is a difference between envy and jealousy. While the words are largely interchangeable and have only marginal differences in their definition in the Dictionary, there are nuances to the words when applied to psychology.

According to my friend Joe Moore, who is a therapist, jealously is a “non-destructive” feeling of resentment against someone because of that person's, success, or advantages. That is to say, “I am jealous of William Monahan and his success.” But Monahan’s success propels me to be a better writer and peruse my dreams. I want to be as good as he is.

If I am “envious” of Monahan then I feel, “destructive” feelings of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success, possessions, etc. Again, that is to say, “I am envious of William Monahan and his success. I hate him, believe he is a homosexual, and all his films suck. I am a better writer but he has all the breaks, bla bla bla” I tear him down in an attempt to build myself up, as well as make assumptions. That is an “envy attack.” And envy attack is designed to make the recipient of the blow feel inadequate or submissive, or even, feel dismissed by a “better.” Envy is the way “people ruin it for the rest of us.”

I think what we have here is a Mom that wants you to shoulder your shield, lift your
Xiphos and join in the age old fight known as “The Mommy Wars.” I’m not sure she is feeling either envey or jeliously but she is insecure. This may stem from having quit a good job to stay home or a general feeling that as a man you have more optionso she has to lay on how great a job she is doing. I think – granted I don’t know her – she is trying to draw you out so she can double envelope you. A victory is a victory no matter how small. This is a terrible thing to say but I have found it to be true and Rosalind Wiseman would back me up on this that many women use kindness as a tool of manipulation, keep your enemies close kind of thing.

That being said she may just be insecure and doesn’t know what to talk about so she talks about how great her kids are. One parent’s can never know what another parent’s life is like.

Be Seeing You.
Jonathan