Demerol Please.

New No.2
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Joined: 2007-11-12
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“Let’s all go to the Aquarium this weekend!”
My wife exclaimed with open arms and wide eyes this morning as I made our daughters bed.
“Oh honey…sure if you want to…” I mumbled barely awake after having had to spend the night on the couch due to my wife’s unfortunate “tick” of kicking and shaking the bed when she is really tired or stressed out. This keeps me awake. Compromise? The couch, neither of us like it but I do need to sleep because my wife is having another late night, the 10:15 screening of “Sex and the City.”

I have no problem with my wife having a little fun with her her friends, I encourage it, but I have been working for two weeks strait, every nap, every meal, play time, and bed time. Work calls for my wife I so I understand, she took a lucrative freelance gig that needed to be done over the long weekend. I let her sleep all day Sat – we are both stressed after the fire in our building the results of which are still unresolved - and then watched our daughter all weekend. We went to the playgrounds and had pizza and ice cream and did all the stuff one does with a person about 3 years old. I even skipped my tai chi class so my wife could get some rest after a long night working. The rub is that all this week my wife has come home late thus extending my workday by 3 hours. When this happens, needing Mommy, our daughter climbs into bed with us at night.

The Aquarium? I know it's 5 stops on the F train to the Aquarium but am I wrong to say no? I would love some “family time,” but give me a break! I also know I’m going to Turkey next week but I don’t want to be exhausted when I get their. Right now I can hardly sit down with out falling asleep. I’m taking my daughter 5 stops on the F in the other direction for a play date today.

Don’t get me wrong I know my wife has been working but I need a break too. I’m and AHD I have no friends, well one but he isn’t in our hemisphere, and I just want some time to sleep or collect myself. My wife got a little peeved that I asked if she and our daughter could go with out me. Sheesh.

Initiate: End Rant Sequence…now…




New No.2
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Joined: 2007-11-12
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Be Seeing You.

Be Seeing You.



Greg Barbera
Posts: 169
Joined: 2006-11-16
Dad Points: 347
why is it out of the question

to have the wife fly solo to the aquarium with your daughter?

it may shed some light on how you live everyday.

i know sometimes my wife get's peeved to have to take a kid or two somewhere without me at times but i think it helps reiterate just how difficult it is flying solo as a parent.



Mr. Dad
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Joined: 2008-03-07
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You earned the break

I think you deserve the break. If she has been gone that much lately, then this is also a great chance for her to have some one on one time with your daughter. Besides, taking one kid out and about is no problem by yourself compared to multiple kids. Sounds like she wants the whole family to spend time together, but what kind of quality time will it be if one of you is exhausted?

Maybe you can explain your need for a break. You will probably all be able to enjoy each other when they get back after you have had a chance to rest.



AMR
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I Agree With Greg

And for that matter, though you should never say this to her, I have to think there is a part of your wife that WANTS to spend time alone with your daughter. Call it girl time, mommy-child time, whatever -- but I know that as the stay-at-home parent I still relish time alone with my four year old (time alone w/ my 17 month old doesn't do much for anyone!).

That said, your wife very well may want to spend quality time with both of you, something in short supply it seems b/c of her current work schedule. The upcoming trip to Turkey may be playing a role as well. My wife will on occasion give me the guilty look before I head out and when I have asked her she often cites this as the reason -- it's not that she doesn't want to be alone at home with the kids, it's often that she wants the family to be together.

Ok, so now that I've thought this through (ha!), if I were you I'd probably tough this trip out. Your concerns are totally legit and I'd probably talk this through with her. Perhaps if you do so tonight you may get to rest tomorrow -- who knows. But present the whole pie to her (family side, your side) and see where she goes with it.



New No.2
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Dad Points: 850
Oh I agree

I agree. I have a very good relationship with my wife and she sometimes says she needs time alone with Emerson but, come on, first thing in the moring and I'm already doing my chores? "Lets go!" I know my wife is a morning person but please...

I'm going away for 10 days next week and I'm sure my wife wants a little US time but we can do that a few minutes away at the great Greenwood Playgroud.

Be Seeing You.



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