There's a pile of dishes in the sink today. Spilled milk slowly transmogrifies into a close facsimile of expensive French cheese beneath the high chair. A bag of clean diapers sits next to the changing table drawers waiting to be filed under P†.

But, it's not always this way.

Gentlemen, last week I entered the SAHDZone for one day. What did I do?

Well, take for granted that I attended with great care to the 9-month-old Centre of the Universe. We played, we babbled, we read, we walked, we swung, we conquered.

And sleep? Two flawless 11 hour flanking nights, two superb 1.5 hour naps, one with a thirty minute appetizer of giddy crib-babbling.

That's all good and well, but what ELSE did I do?

Exercise? Yes: 20 pushups, two 15 second leg stretches, 40 crunches, 20 leg-lifts. The Governator may not be shaking in his boots, but I could take Stephen Harper in three rounds. (Don't know who he is? Don't sweat it, neither does Bush.)

Cooking? Oh yeah! Biscuits from scratch for breakfast. Bread from scratch for lunch. Chestnut soup from.. well, canned stock. (But who even KNOWS how to make stock these days? What do you do Chef, just squeeze the chicken until the juice comes out?)

Cleaning? But of course. The customary laundry and dishes mixed with smatterings of sweeping, compost tending, and secure disposal of
miscellaneous cat ejecta.

Work that might keep Hagee from consigning me to eternal flame if it weren't for that pesky circumcision thing? No, could it be? Yes,
gentlemen. I did three solid hours of productive paid work!

Parental sleep? Indeed, a respectable 6 hours of slumber.

Sex? Sex?!

No seriously, what's "sex" again?

Anyone? Leigh? Ticktock?

Um, anyway..

What's my secret? Am I high on life? Am I doping?

No‡. I have no frakking idea how I fit all of that into 24 hours. I'll give long odds it will NEVER happen again.

I had to share.

What was your Peak Dad day?

Cheers,

Steve

P.S. Props go to my wife for helping out in the early morning and evening hours and to my daughter for being an angel all day long.

†You had to look at the footnote to know what "P" is for?

‡"No" here technically means "Yes". I take synthetic Erythropoietin by injection, just like [[insert your favourite Tour de France "winner" here]]. But since I am in end-stage renal failure, I get a pass on that. So, stop reading footnotes and fix your child some biscuits, man!