The truth, you cant handle the truth,,,

Well it seems im the only one in this world..

I just got laid off, Like 1 day after I bought my first house for me and my kids,

  Now im sitting on unemployment(not enough) welfare ie food stamps(once again not enough, dont have a partner in my life to hold down the fort,   I got full custody about 2 yrs ago and switched from bringing in the bacon, to full blown stay at home dad,,  Ive got quite the story if someone would listen.   OMG what a culture shock..  

  Going to the park during the day is hilarious, nothing but Moms and couples , I can tell Im the only single father

I think all of what is said is valid here, especially the media humanizing the economy. Here are actually a couple links to stories in the news, and there are more like them.

http://cbs13.com/local/Tough.Economy.Produces.2.969163.html

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/Economy/story?id=7529849&page=1

I'm a laid off SAHD and it happened by accident. My wife and I both were laid off on the same day - two different jobs - what a coincidence (like Enabler2x). I busted my tail trying to find work, but my wife ended up getting a job first. The at-home duties fell to me by default and that was a real change (not always a fun one either). I ended up writing a book about it (Sugar Milk: What to Drink When You Can't Afford Vodka) which is supposed to be out later this summer. In fact a few other laid off dads were trying to get enough guys together in our same boat to write a compilation style book with each dad contributing a chapter. A few weeks later my partner got a job (which good for him). I am still actively seeking work particularly in the Chicago area (if anyone knows of something). I digress, sorry.

I have been contacted about interviews on this topic too - just did one yesterday with the Globe and Mail in Canada. And I've contacted to be one of several SAHD's on a reality TV show.

Still, I think it's difficult to tell if there's a surge or not. Some SAHDs might not even admit to being one, or maybe there are temporarily. Still, I'll have to got back to the media hyping it. Perception is reality. Thanks

PS - and Enabler2x, your comment about moms and couples at the park is right on. I've even gotten a few dirty looks after stiking up conversatioins with them and they learn about my sistuation. They always ask, "We aren't you looking for a job?" (nice assumption), or "My husband could never do that. I wouldn't let him."

They haven't told me, but they are coming to do screen tests sometime in the next month or so. The agent told me in in April that they were still pitching it tt to networks.  As far as I'm concerned it's not happening - I mean, I'm not getting my hopes up, and even if it does, it's not going to Jon & Kate + 8 (or Jon - 9). I already told them that if I get a job, which I'm being pretty agressive about, then we're probably not going to fit their requirements. We need a paycheck more than being on a TV screen. But I'll let you know the title when and if I hear it.

New Number 2,

well put. I may have had this trust upon me, I'll take play dates and PTO meetings over corporate politics anyday.

There are those that are stay at home because of unemployement. I was laid off from my job 3 months before my wife had our 1st child. That was 14 months ago and so I became the stay at home dad. Our original plan was for both of us to continue working so neither of us were going to stay at home. Now he's at home 3 days a week and at day care 2 days so that I can continue to look for work and schedule interviews. It's not what we had planned but it certainly is fullfilling nonetheless! What a great opportunity to be with my son through his first year!

As many have mentioned its funny how men are assumed to not be good stay at home parents. My feeling is that there are a TON of resources for mom's, mom's groups etc but not much for dad's! Today society sees the mother as the major care giver. When a baby cries it must need its mommy. Dad's are seen as the enforcer of rules. I believe that this is simply because this is accepted. Society feels that way and so dad hands over the kid to mom. Next thing you know mom knows how to sooth the child better and bonds more with mom and therefore the process becomes self-fulfilling. But I don't think it HAS to be that way! I also don't think that Dad's have nearly enough resources to know what to do or other dad's to talk about their experiences with.

I'm looking forward to being more involved here and for good groups in So Cal.

I can certainly see how the media would connect the issue of job loss with an increase of SAHD considering the social norms surrounding fatherhood. I've been at home for the last 4 years and like many here, I chose this lifestyle. It just so happens I've been let go a couple of times during the process, including recently. But that is more a trend of the economy and doesn't explain why most of us even took the first step toward this unique adventure.

For me, I became a stay at home dad with the intent of remaining the primary bread winner and at the same time being more active in the life of my children. The financial aspect has suffered while I learn to make a living online, but there's no doubt that once I get rolling, my family experience will be remarkable.

I'm sure there are others like Enabler2x who have met the unfortune of jobloss, and resources like this site can be provide uplifting support to becoming a successful stay at home dad, especially in the midst of the frustrating experience of finding new work. But I agree with others here that the more inspiring story to new age fatherhood is the desire to want to be a greater influence to our kids so we chose this path rather than stumbled upon it.

Thanks from a dad new to this site. I'm glad I came to play.

Eva Marquez

I hope you gentlemen do not mind a womans point of view.  I am a woman who has been married for 27 years

I have no children, but.....but I raised 3 0f my sisters children. This was because her husband got burned over 75% of his body, so she had to work.  I know how difficult it is to raise children, but I think it is the best job ever to have.  Yes secular work is fullfilling when you like what you do.  Taking care of kids should be a job you love not like. These children are a product of the love between you and your wife.  That in itself is a bond unbreakable. Whether you are a stay at home dad by choice or because you found yourself in the unfortunate sweep of the laid off raid, the point is both parents are responsible for the children. Children get a taste of who daddy is, because the norm is not the father staying home.  They probably think its cool that daddy to is capable of taking care of the home.  Like you all were mentioning it might not be ok with you ,that its getiting so much attention or may it is ok the thing is don't take it personal it's just peoples curiosity and  sometimes change is difficult for some. I personally applause you for your effort and keep up the good work. and Good Luck!

I fit this topic quite well. I had been with my company for just over 3 years and really liked my job. I was part of a 33% company lay off. It was very unexpected because they had been assuring everyone that the rumors of company lay offs were NOT true. My wife had been at her job for roughly 6 months and was doing great. When I was laid off, we removed our only daughter from daycare to save money. Luckily, I was able to collect unemployment. so for the last 6 months, we have been doing fairly well. as of last week, my unemployment ran out and now we are scrambling to find a way to cover all of our bills. It has been very difficult for me to grasp the concept of me being a SAHD. This is not something that I chose to do. but something that I have to do for my family. I absolutely LOVE being able to stay at home with my (now 2) little girls. BUT, the minute that I can find a job pays enough to pay for daycare and be able to put money in savings, I will be back at work. But until then, I am one proud SAHD.

Hi-

I'm new here, and actually I'm not an at-home dad quite yet, but I will be after the end of this year when my position at work terminates. My wife and I have a 7-week old daughter Cecilia, and currently my wife is on maternity leave. Because she has a pretty good job with good benefits including health insurance, she will be the breadwinner for a while. We'll see how we can adjust financially... I am looking for another position, but I am so specialized that I don't expect anything to appear for a while. And actually I am really looking forward to being at home full time for the forseeable future.

Casey

I was in mortgage for a few years and miserable.  My wonderful wife encouraged me to leave (the job not her) and do what would make me happy in life so I went back to school and got my masters in elementary education (in 07).  Finding a job sucked and I had to take a position as a teacher's aide.  That winter we found out we were expecting in August. 

I applied at 164 schools that summer with one interview so I became a stay at home dad because we are lucky enough that my wife has a job where I can do that. But as much I love being at home with my daughter, I still feel guilty about not being able to contribute financially so my wife isn't wholly responsible for our household income. Last year I applied at over 300 schools with, again, one interview.  As a male elementary school teacher, I figured I might be a bit more marketable.  With the economy tanking though, teachers not retiring because their retirements are gone, and budget crunches, I've found that getting a starting gig with a masters is much harder than I ever imagined.

I know that being with parents is great for a baby but hopefully next year (when Talia's two) I can finally find something, hopefully full time but at least part time, and Talia can go into daycare so she can see other children on a regular basis and start to learn more social skills.