The older kids get the bigger the challenges we, as parents, have to help them overcome. 

Four months ago Grant, now an official adult at age 21, was accused of rape/non consensual sex by a disgruntled ex-girlfriend.  The girl filed a police report without any clear evidence - just her "she said" testimony. 

A police officer called Grant to notify him of the complaint but he was not arrested.  Tina and I immediately hired an attorney.  He advised Grant not to make any contact with the girl.  She, however, contacted him a couple of times but Grant did not reply.  

The police officer never called again and did not interview Grant to get his side of the story.  The officer would not return our attorney's phone calls and was uncooperative during the investigation.  Since he was not arrested the police officer had no obligation to give us a copy of the girl’s complaint or share facts that supported her complaint like the date, time and place she claimed the rape occurred, whether or not she had a vaginal exam…...etc  It was like going into a minefield blindfolded. One thing we did know was that neither she or Grant had scratches or bruises on their body.

Despite the lack of information and cooperation from the police, Grant, Tina and I treated the case as though it was going to trial.  I hired a PI and he collected valuable evidence that disputed the girl’s claim. 

Four months and $7,000 for attorney and PI fees later the girl posted the following message on Grant’s Facebook site.  “Why are you still investigating this case?  The charge has been dropped.”  

The police didn’t even call us!  We had to hear it from her???  And why is he contacting Grant???

What also sucks is that the girl will not receive any consequence for her false report and accusation.  And we as parents have no legal grounds to sue her for the attorney and PI fees.  Grant is the only one who can file a claim against her.  But after talking with the attorney he opted not to.   What this girl did was wrong but unfortunately from a legal point of view there is not much Grant can do.

My family learned a lot about how unjust the legal system can be and also how incompetent some police officers can be.  

It was also very scary that another person can fabricate a story to the police about your child and run the risk of jail time and ruining his/her life. 

We’re glad the case is over and it was worth the $7,000 to keep Grant out of jail.  Time to move on and wait for another of life’s crazy challenges to come our way.