Let's continue the support and networking from the convention by posting the best piece of advice or top thing you learned at this year's convention!
What did you learn at the 14th Annual At-Home Dad's Convention?
What I learned was that...
communication is key to keeping a relationship strong between huisband and wife. I sat in on Hogan's session and I have to admit that I was a little confused at first but then he was mentioning things that my wife and I go through and it kind of clicked about how important your communication is. Communicating with your wife isn't communication if you don't understand each other. It's not that I didn't know this already but sometimes you have to hear it from someone elses perspective to do something about it. I wish that session had been longer but I think that Hogan made good use of his time.
Bob Boisvert SAHD since 2000 with Jennifer & Sarah (10.5 years) and Grace (7)
Parenting with Confidence
The best thing I learned was from Erin Cox who lead the workshop "Parenting with Confidence." She said, "You can't change until it becomes too uncomfortable NOT to change." WOW... that speaks volumes for myself AND my kids. It helped me realize that I need to make changes to how I deal with my kids BEFORE it gets to that. It also taught me to make the consequences for my kids VERY uncomfortable and unpleasant (and we're not talking about spanking here) that they will change their behavior on their own.
I can't help mentioning one other thing I learned at this session. A common consequence is something like, "Jimmy and Johnny, if you pick up your toys, we'll go to the park." Well then Jimmy does it, but Johnny doesn't, so what do you do? You can't take Jimmy to the park and leave Johnny at home! Erin suggested instead to say, "Jimmy, great job picking up your toys! How about you and I make some cookies together," or something else special with just you and the child who did what he was supposed to do. She said, the other child will hopefully get the message and clean up his toys so he too can join in the fun, but, more importantly, the child who did his chore will not get screwed completely. Can't wait to try it out!
Al 14th Annual At Home Dad Convention www.athomedadconvention.com
Great Convention
Learned so many new things that I beleive I am a better father & husband for attending! Learned that even though I may not understand it (and similar view shared by many other attendees of Hogan's marriage workshop) that taking the 3 minutes to make the bed is worth it because it puts a smile on your wife's face when she gets home from work.
Even though dads groups are in different cities around the country, they all serve a similar purpose for at-home dads - a place of belonging & camaraderie, a place to avoid isolation, a place to learn & support others in a similar role... a RESOURCE for dads.
Really enjoyed meeting so many great guys! thanks Phil for everything you did to support me in getting out there! thanks to LinOma Group and convention committee for hosting a tremendous event!
Lance
ps. being the blogger that I am, couldn't help, but to blog a bit about my experience this weeekend - www.nycdadsgroup.com
My Lighthearted Learned List
Not to mess with Al’s wife. I suggested toilet papering Al’s house on Thursday night but Phil wouldn’t drive us to his house. He was afraid that Al’s wife would shoot us with one of Al’s civil war rifles.
How to take “Ball Busting” to a higher level from the newbies in the KC Dads group.
Robb has a fetish for newspapers. I couldn’t find one Omaha World Herald Newspaper on Saturday morning. Robb had them all. He wouldn’t give me one of the newspapers but he sent me the link to the article (front page) he appeared in. http://omaha.com/article/20091010/NEWS01/710109942
Rooming with Liam is not all it’s cracked up to be. Maybe because he forgot the rubber chicken he told me he was going to bring with him. In Liam’s defense, he had a flu bug and so did a few others. Nevertheless, it didn’t stop us from having a great time.
Liam can’t live with out croutons.
Jim L can eat steak - 23 ounces at Thursday’s dinner. Next year we’ll need to come up with a different food eating challenge for Jim. How about 50 Cool Hand Luke hard boiled eggs?
Not to play pool against Jim L. Or choose Liam as a pool table partner.
A few at-home dads know how to cut a rug/get down/boogie. Some of them couldn’t help but show off their dancing skills to the loud music at Barry O’s. The names are not listed to protect the guilty.
Not to have a glass of white wine when Richard is sitting next to you at the dinner table. (Had to be there to understand this “two finger” joke.)
There is a lot to look forward to at next year’s convention in Omaha.
Thanks again to all the dads in attendance for all the LAUGHS and another awesome and memorable weekend! You guys ROCK!
Top Two
Lance Somerfeld's Achieving a Succcesful At-Home-Dads Group and had http://www.nycdadsgroup.com/ to atest his skills.
Understanding ADHD- While I found the presenter difficult to listen to because she was rushed and speaking too fast, I found the information extremely useful. Not that my son has ADD or SDHD, I just wanted to learn more and what to keep an eye out for and how to deal with when dealing with ADHD kids at the playground.
-The New, New MHD Blog
-Also Found On Facebook!
Something That Hit For Me
I was blown away at the Dietician that I had brought in for the convention. I had told her of the experience that I had at the 11th Annual and she definitely to that into account and provided a great presentation. One thing I picked up on for myself and my twins is that I need to eliminate the Powerade that I have beend drinking since I had weight loss surgery in 2007. I am sure that it has helped to my regaining 40 pounds roughly since getting down to my lowest weight. Plus all the ideas for snack time and actually getting my twins more involved with cooking or preparing the meals that we consume. Plus understanding the appropriate portion sizes a bit better.
Then there was the pleasure of leading the age based discussion. I was not sure how it would play out however, we were all talking about various things through out the entire time and I learned somethings that I had not realized from being in that discussion. It was amazing. Aaron Rochlan's session about his research was awesome and hope that we are able to have him back again for the 15th annual to give us a further update once again. Aaron is doing some impressive stuff as a true advocate for At Home Dads.
Marriage Workshop & Making Bed Issue
Regarding Bob’s post about having more time in Marriage Workshop. .
I apologize for not making better use of my time. Probably should have left out the dads’ introduction part. Used up 10 minutes.
Here are some other issues and antidotes I should have discussed.
Sex and intimacy has been an important part of keeping my marriage alive. I should have made time to elaborate on it. Again my bad.
Tina and I don’t stay mad at each other very long. And when we do it sets up an opportunity to have make-up sex. Heck, sometimes I admit that I’m wr…wr…wr..not right even when I think I’m right just for the opportunity to have make-up sex.
I’ve also reminded myself why I married Tina and recognize that she’s done more good than bad for me.
Communication also involves how and when I deliver the message to Tina. In the heat of the moment, I tended to say something that I eventually regretted. I’ve trained myself to take a deep breath, pause and wait a few hours or day to give more thought as to how and what I want to say to Tina to make sure it comes out right. This strategy has worked well for me.
Regarding Lance’s making the bed comment:
Here is an example of expanding on the bed issue.
I returned home to unfortunate news. My mother-in-law (82) suddenly took ill and was admitted into the hospital with a bladder infection. She is not doing well. Tina cried most of last night.
I went to Ikea today with Matt (16) and bought a new bed comforter, linens and pillows to brighten up her day. I told Matt why I was doing this and he helped me pick out the style and colors. Tina really appreciated it.
I could also have addressed the lessons our kids learned from how Tina and I have worked through and handled our marriage issues.
Oh well. If the dads want, we can always revisit the marriage topic again next year.
For the dads who couldn’t attend the convention, I will be happy to post what I shared with the group in both of my presentations on Marriage and When the Kids Attend Elementary School. Just let me know.
In General
The sharing of challenges faced during the life of an AHD and solutions presented by not just one individual but many like minded individuals and friends. This was an added bonus to the many fine breakout sesssions presented.
-The New MHD Blog
-Also Found On Facebook!
Keep the comments coming...
I know there are more of you out there who learned great stuff that others missed out on. Keep sharing!!!
Al 14th Annual At Home Dad Convention www.athomedadconvention.com
Joined: 2008-08-18
Dad Points: 267