My son started sleeping through the night only a couple of months ago. Or so we suspected. My wife and I have determined that Andrew doesn't actually spend a restful evening in his crib. In fact it is our suspicion at sometime after we are all quietly asleep he escapes from the house to take night classes.

Having conferred with other parents of young toddlers, this is the only explanation for the random increase in knowledge. Andrew has, on several occasions, elicited expressions of shock and awe after speaking a new word or performing a new action that neither Mommy and Daddy taught him. So rather than assuming that unintentional education has occurred during the day, we have reached the only reasonable conclusion that there is a secret legion of toddlers who go to an overnight preschool to increase their cognitive and physical development. Our current hope is that Andrew my accelerate his learning and begin taking classes in Spanish or Mandarin within the next few months.

With the increased emphasis on education in the United States perhaps the tooth fairy has branched out into education. The federal government could provide funding for Ms. Fairy's preschool venture and thus slowing the hemorrhaging of cash she experiences by consistently giving away money in exchange for the valueless commodity of baby teeth. We have nothing to confirm this hypothesis but it is much more comforting than to simply watch Andrew learn everything from us directly.

So thank you No Child Left Behind for providing our under 2-year-olds with a magnificent and magical system of tutoring. I feel confident that these night classes will allow our children to easily surpass the toddlers of Asia and Western Europe. And thank you Tooth Fairy for your entrepreneurial spirit. Or shall I say, gracias seniorita?