How did that beach trip go for you this summer? I hope it went well, or better than mine went, anyway.

Of course, I exaggerate. It wasn’t that bad.

Cesare Pavese is famous for coining the phrase, “we do not remember days. We remember moments.” This is very true, and is going to be true of my beach trip this year, because whenever anyone thinks of this year’s beach trip, what they are going to remember is the fact that one of my one year old’s teeth finally broke through the gum line at two o’clock in the morning. At which point, conveniently, he started wailing.

I say ‘wailing’ only because I lack the vocabulary to put into one word what he actually sounded like. It was more like what a cat would sound like if you covered him in scorpions and put him in a blender…on “frappe”.

And even that would not have been so bad if not for the fact that my inlaws were in the bedroom right beside him. And yes, it woke them up. I mean, I’m pretty certain my inlaws lack the capacity to sleep through a tornado throwing a freight train through a basketball hoop.

And still it gets worse. My sister-in-law had also decided to come down and spend a day with us. She is a night owl and had only been asleep for an hour or so. The only one in the household that didn’t wake up was my four year old daughter, and so help me, I haven’t the foggiest idea how she managed to pull that off.

I don’t blame him, poor fellah. I really don’t. It wasn’t his fault. He was hurting and wanted to be soothed. I got that. I understand. My wife and mother-in-law thought it would be the best idea to take him outside on the deck where he could see the stars and smell the ocean. Maybe that would calm him down. I don’t know about that, but I’m sure that somewhere there was a sea turtle that was convinced that the apocalypse was upon him.

I’m also fairly certain that our neighbors hated us.

I mean, really hated us.

All things considered, I’m sure the kids had a good time. I had a good time. I love the ocean. There were a lot of fun moments. But years from now when stories of this year’s beach trip are told, that will be the story that’s told first.

But that’s kids for you!