A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

There’s a lesson that is told in most cultures. In Canada, it’s about the weather: “Wait a minute and it will change.”  Or, most everywhere on the good or bad in life; “This too shall pass.”  All are so true.  Right now, our family is going through both some ups and downs.  I try to remember the latter adage during the “down” periods and not expect the “up” ones to always last.  

Submitted by NYC Dads Group:

The Today Show aired a progressive segment this week on stay at home dads & working moms.  I wanted to share it with other at-home dads (and those considering the role) as well as their working wives.  The segment, titled "The Modern Family", included a personal spotlight on my family as opposed to a focus on our NYC Dads Group.  This segment had the promise to start shifting the at-home dad conversation moving BEYOND Mr. Mom...and I thought the Today Show did a really nice job of delivering on that message. Yep, included the bit about being termed something more appropriate like "modern men" or "involved fathers" as opposed to some other outdated terms splashed around by the media too often.

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

A recent Pew Research Center study called “Women, Men and the New Economics of Marriage (Jan. 19, 2010 by Richard Fry and D’Vera Cohn) revealed that women are making much more money, over the recent past, than at any other time in our history.  The study had the following opening: “The institution of marriage has undergone significant changes in recent decades as women have outpaced men in education and earnings growth.  These unequal gains have been accompanied by gender role reversals in both the spousal characteristics and the economic benefits of marriage.”

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

Do you remember that great Eddie Cochran song, “Summertime Blues” from the fifties? Originally a single B-side, it peaked at #8 on the Billboard Hot 100 on September 29, 1958.  Cochran died at the tender age of 21 in a taxi accident in England. The song is ranked #73 in Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.  But, enough of the music history lesson as it’s another summer and another 10 weeks wondering what the boys will be doing, as well as the family as a whole.

CNN chief medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta reports on best selling author Bruce Feiler (“Walking the Bible” and “Council of Dads”), who after a devastating diagnosis in 2008 of osteosarcoma (a rare and aggressive bone cancer), thought he was going to die. He endured brutal treatments and decided to form a “Council of Dads” for his twin girls. A group of his closest male friends would in effect take his place as father to his girls should he not make it.

A Dad's Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

Father’s Day for me is now a melancholy experience.  I certainly appreciate the attention that I get from my two boys and my wife.  My younger son tends to make an artistic gift for me, since he’s the artist of the family, while my older one will scribble some sweet sentiments on a piece of scrap or notebook paper, and my wife will usually make me a glorious meal of my choosing.

A Dad's Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

Do men really have good support for emotional issues, on a regular basis? When a man reaches a certain age and he’s depressed, he’s struggling with his place in the world, he’s going through family problems or a divorce, or financial and job worries, etc., where can he turn? Add into the mix that he’s a single dad and has no immediate family around and you have my situation, a few years ago.

By Rob Sachs, Author of What Would Rob Do?: An Irreverent Guide to Surviving Life's Daily Indignities

When nobody else has been around to help out, I've also tried getting someone to talk about her own name. I'd say something like, "I used to get made fun of all the time when I was little because people would call me names like 'Saxophone' or 'Sexy Sachs' or 'Rob my sacks of cats.'" (Okay, nobody ever used the last one.) After sharing my story, I'd ask if she ever got teased, hoping she will give me a funny story that I can use to remember her name. Or sometimes I'd inquire, "What did your family call you when you were little?" Hopefully, it won't be Princess.

A Dad’s Point-Of-View by Bruce Sallan

I keep learning this great lesson. It’s something I know, but seem to have to experience repeatedly for it to sink into my stubborn head. With kids, there’s no such thing as quality time, only quantity time.

By Rafe Esquith

It'd be nice if there was a secret I could tell you about how to instantly make your kids more successful in school and life. But there is no magic pill, only that old stand-by, hard work. And the funny thing about that is, you can't force kids to work hard. I suppose you could try, but I've rarely seen anything useful come from kids whose parents had to hold their noses to the grindstone. If there's something close to a secret, perhaps it's this: Kids work hard when they want to work hard, and this happens only when are motivated to do so by some positive internal goal, and not by fear or because they are worried about disappointing others. They work hard because they value hard work. Instilling kids with values like this is the first step the long road to real success.

But that doesn't mean there's nothing you can do to make this happen. Here are five ways to put your kids on the path to extraordinary:

This just in from the folks at Supernanny...

Grass Valley, California, March 20, 2009—Why Not Dad?, the short documentary made about and in collaboration with a group of stay-at-home dads living in San Francisco, will be screening at the upcoming Sacramento International Film Festival.

I've been getting a lot of interview requests lately for "dads who are now stay at home dads due to the economic downturn".   If that's you, and you don't mind sharing your experiences with a newspaper reporter (it's usually just a 10 minute conversation on the phone), contact me by clicking here.   Let me know your contact information (name, phone, email, city and state) and I'll pass it along (only to qualified legitimate reporters) or keep it in my files for the next similar request (I'm expecting another one any minute now ).

That said, it's also worth noting that a lot of the dads around here are at-home by choice, not because they were involuntarily forced out of the workplace.   Neither is better or worse, it's just important to realize that there are lots of different reasons that dads are at home.

If you have any comments on this topic, feel free to post them below.