Lady – SIR, SIR!!
Me :: I turn around ::
Lady – I saw these fall out of your pant leg
Me – Thanks :: Horrified I immediately grab my underwear out of her hand and put them in my pocket ::
Lady – You’re welcome
Let the good times roll…
Today was a preschool day for my son and we all woke up late…I mean real late, 8:45ish and his class starts at 9:10. We are usually up and ready to go by 7:30, but for some reason the Father Gods were probably golfing and enjoying a good laugh at my expense. After rolling over and looking at the clock, I felt my throat hit my feet as I jumped out of bed. In the process of jumping out of bed, I yell for everyone to get up. In doing so, I’m sure Cameron thought the Decepticons were about to attack our secret hideout. I scrambled to each room to ensure each of my kids were alive and gave my marching orders.
As I am getting Parker dressed (I refuse to take her any where in her pajamas), Cameron walks in wearing an outfit that…that, I don’t know what it was, but he was dressed. Before heading downstairs I have both children brush their teeth and while overseeing the haphazard attempt of teeth brushing, I’m calculating how much time we have for breakfast, and how long it will take to officially get out of the house. I figured I would have at least have 3 minutes to get Cameron a well-balanced meal and another 5 seconds to get shoes on the correct feet and jackets on.
We head downstairs and I throw Cameron fruit snacks, a granola bar, and a diet coke and tell him to eat his breakfast. For some reason he had a look of fear in his eyes! I don’t understand why? As I’m getting Parker ready, Cameron at what seemed to be a painstakingly slow pace, dons his jacket and shoes. As I’m about to head out the door, I realize I’m still wearing shorts and a T-shirt. I run back up stairs and put on the previous day’s clothes and run back downstairs. I buckle Parker into her seat while Cameron jumps in his seat and we are off.
I’m driving through my neighborhood at 50mph, when it’s a 25mph speed zone…I didn’t care! We pull in the parking lot and I jump out of the car to unpack the kids. I then realized I failed to buckle Cameron into his seat – I’m sure I’m going to hell for that. I finally get both kids out of the car and head towards the entrance. I’m carrying Parker and Cameron is following in tow. We are mid-way through the parking lot when I stepped in a pothole that was covered with snow and slush. My foot is immediately engulfed in ice-cold water – literally everything in my body shrank.
I attempt to regain my composure and I’m happy with the fact that I did not utter the word “FUCK” multiple times. I look at my watch and it read 9:10, not bad!! As we are sprinting towards the door I hear a lady yell from behind us, “SIR, SIR!” I turn around to see this lady running towards me. My first thought was to ignore the lady and continue on my mission to get Cameron to school on time. As she is running towards me, she is waving a pair of underwear over her head (picture Charlie finding the Wonka Golden Ticket).
The second thought came to my head was, this lady is going to glitter bomb me with someone’s underwear. When she finally caught up with us she tells me, “I saw these fall out of your pant leg.” She handed me my skivvies and giggled while walking away. The third thought to go through my head, are these my underwear and did she just hand them to me? Thankfully, I have yet to encounter this lady again, but if I do, I plan on giving her a high five because I got Cameron to school on time and I’m not down a pair of underwear.
Re-posted with permission from Brandon Klinetobe from The Funny Conversations: Sir, You Dropped Your Underwear
Brandon is a stay home dad in the southwest suburbs of Chicago. He has two amazing children, Cameron (5) and Parker Grace (2) who keeps him busy, young, and believe it or not…energized. When it is not snowing or too cold, they enjoy their afternoons at Brookfield Zoo or one of the beautiful museums the city (or as Cameron puts it, The Concrete Jungle) has to offer. If they are cooped inside the house, Star Wars (Originals) is either on or an adventure is being played out in their basement. He is not the crafty type, so make believe battles and tea parties suit him better. He started out posting conversations he and his son would have on Facebook and was encouraged by his family and friends to start a blog. After months of procrastination, thefunnyconversations.com was born. He enjoys writing about his children and the experiences he has with them. If you like what you read, subscribe to his blog and follow him on Twitter @bjklinetobe. It would be in bad taste, and a few nights camping on the couch if he failed to mention his biggest fan…His Wife. She is his rock and the English teacher who points out all his grammatical errors.