I’m blessed with a good-sized circle of friends. Work friends, friends from church, friends in our neighborhood, etc. Despite all this, some of my most valuable friendships are those with the other wives from playgroup. We call ourselves the “Sugar Mommas”. It’s an interesting group. We’ve got a wide variety of ages, careers, interests, personalities – you name it – but our get-togethers are always filled with lots of laughs and lots of support. Why? Because we get it. There is no explaining. My husband once said that he met an at-home Mom who was so shocked by his existence that she must have thought he was a unicorn. Most women aren’t quite that blown away, but it can be close. When our family situation comes up at work people have tons of questions. Does he cook? (yes) Does he clean? (yes). Did you have to make him do this? (umm…no). I really do enjoy talking to people about the benefits and practicalities of a SAHD but at times, it does begin to feel like am, in fact, married to a unicorn.
With the other wives, we’re all on the same page. It’s not news that anyone’s spouse cooks, cleans or manages to dress the kids. We can swap stories about which husbands reload the dishwasher behind us without people focusing on the fact that they actually load a dishwasher. We commiserate about the wreckage that is our houses after playgroup. We discuss who gets up in the middle of the night and who the kids run to when they’re hurt. For a little while, we’re normal. No one comments that their husband “could never handle it” or “is too driven” (making my spouse unmotivated?).
Even more importantly, these are the funniest women I know. I’ve not entirely figured out the connection between at-home dads and awesome wives, but we laugh and laugh and laugh. Maybe its self-confidence that is needed to have a somewhat counterculture lifestyle? Maybe only cool guys are at-home dads and they did a good job picking us? I don’t know, but I know they are simply lovely.
So, bottom line, next time “the wives” are getting together…give your wife a push out the door. The Mom guilt is hard to overcome sometimes, but I promise she’ll enjoy it. No wife gathering in your playgroup? Talk your wife into arranging it – it’s worth it!