I went into the toilet training of my second child much like the first. Calmly.
I did what I thought were the same things. I encouraged, but didn’t push.
I bribed, but I didn’t threaten. I asked, but I didn’t beg.
Well, now I am begging.
PLEASE!!!!! PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!
Take a poop in the toilet!!!!
A dump – a S**T – drop the kids at the pool – bake a loaf – coil a rope – hang a root – lay pipe – lay some cable – grow a tail – make a delivery – make a deposit – bake brownies – drop a bomb – give birth to a sewer bass – bust a dookie – drop a deuce – see a man about a dog – talk to a man about a mule – smear the bowl – squeeze a Hershey’s Kiss – pop a squat – go number two – (or one of my favorites) Ride the porcelain bus. ANYTHING!!!
Okay, I’m paraphrasing. I know you shouldn’t talk like that to kids.
But here’s the problem. Monkey, (my youngest) has had constipation. So it hurt to poop. So he held it. So it hurt. So he held it. So it hurt. So he held it. So it hurt. So he held it. So it hurt. So he held it. So it hurt. So he held it. You see the pattern? I finally had to give him an enema.
For those of you who are not familiar with an enema, here’s what you do.
1. Go to the drug store and purchase an enema bottle (or three. Each about 4.5oz). Take it home and dump out the contents.
Why, you ask? Because the chemicals inside are a little too strong for youngsters.
But a little doesn’t hurt, so don’t worry about rinsing the bottle. Fill the bottle with a mixture of half milk and half molasses.
And yes, I did ask Monkey’s doctor why. Because he is the one who told me about it.
He said it is gentler on young children’s intestines/colons.
2. Then either lay child on his/her side on the floor of the bathroom. (You want to be close to target.)
Bend top leg slightly in front of bottom.
3. Insert nozzle of enema bottle into rectum. (It is lubricated) You don’t have to shove it in all the way, but make sure nothing will squirt out.
4. Then squeeze bottle. Forcing liquid into rectum. Not all of it will go in. But you should have a crushed bottle when you are done.
5. Remove nozzle of bottle from rectum.
6. have child stay there for up to 5 min, or until the urge to poop is great.
7. Place child on toilet. KEEP THEM THERE! It may take some time to flush it all out.
Option 2: Place child with head & shoulders on floor and butt in the air, resting on knees.
Continue with #3
Okay, that might have been too much information. But that is what I have been dealing with for the last year. He doesn’t want to poop in the toilet. I have tried rewarding. I have tried bribing. I have tried the calender with stickers for every time he poops. I am at the end of my rope.
Now keep in mind, that I have been fighting this toilet battle for a year. Trying to get him comfortable to sit on the toilet and poop. I have had to do an enema 5 times. I am really, really, done.
I don’t think I have mentioned. Monkey is 5 years old. He will be going to kindergarten next fall.
We have thrown away at least a dozen soiled pairs of underwear. Have gone through numerous boxes of Pull-Ups.
And at $35 a box, that is money that could have gone to many other things.
I know that some may write in with suggestions. Or comments. I welcome them all. But please be kind.