Am I a stay at home dad, a SAHD?  Well, I do stay home with the children rather than go to a job that I get underpaid at and a Corvette is not a company car.  But I’ll  admit, the acronym summons up thoughts of a very melancholy person that is filed with remorse and regret.  I have no regrets, I get to watch Sportscenter all day.  And although I have been that guy that mopes around on some days, especially when my team decides to go for it on 4th and 5 on their own 30, I am not normally a down person.  I particularly don’t find the acronym SAHD offensive but I can see how some might.  Let’s face it, I’m cool as hell and the rest of you guys are losers that love bon bons and Oprah.  Get a job hippies.  With all your new wave complete parenting involved father thing.

So yes, we do need to explore other titles that may be more PC and appropriate.  Afterall, we dads that stay with the kids are becoming something of a cultural thing right now and need something that looks a little bit better on the 6 o’clock news.  It’s all about PR baby.

How about a straight up Stay AT Home Parent.  Sure, it could work.  But it has no pizazz, no flavor to it.  When you say the acronym it sounds like your choking on shellfish.  And I don’t like thinking of myself as a SAHP.  It sounds like I’m ready to help a Nigerian prince who wants to move some money to the U.S.  If only his father hadn’t passed on.  I don’t think the PR guys at the convention would like it very much either.  It’s not very sexy.  Let’s move on.  It needs to be something that looks good on a resume that we no longer need unless Angelina Jolie needs a nanny.

Or a Manny?  That could work but I’m a little torn on this one.  When I hear Manny I automatically want to put a Ramirez right after it.  And depending on who you root for, I think we would have problems with this one.  A man can’t be associated with a sports figure that he hates, that’s just plain manlaw stuff right there.  Besides, the term “Manny” implies that I like taking care of children which is not entirely true.  I like taking care of MY children.  Yours?  Not so much.

We could reach back a little here and go back to the 80’s.  We could always go to the old reliable Mr. Mom.  C’mon, that movie is funny as hell and I would submit that we have many things in common with Micheal Keaton’s character.  Seriously, I would bet a good majority of us have at one time or another grown a beard, thrown on a flanel woobie and actually like some of the same TV shows as the kids.  It’s a comedy but there is some truth behind those laughs.  Besides the male stripclub thing, I’ve never done that one.  But my wife is an advertising executive and does come up with cheesy lines such as “Schooner Tuna, the Tuna with a heart.”  However, I don’t think this one will work for us either.  The term Mr. Mom sounds like I’m asking permission to parent my children or that I am just borrowing this role.  This is not the case.  No disrespect to moms, we love them, but I’m Dad and I kickass.  I’m not a temp parent here from the agency.  I’m full time and pretty proud of it.

House Husband?  Nope.  I’m not a kept man and bow down to no one.  I don’t take orders, I give them.  Trophy Husband?  I like that one better.  There was an article floating around out there stating that a stay at home dad is a status symbol for a working woman.  But unless that status symbol gets me a beamer, I don’t care for it.  Lazy unemployed man sucking off the public teat?  Sorry, not going to work either.

We need to come up with something new.  Afterall, we have a convention coming up.  Maybe we could vote on it.  Everyone make a nomination and we’ll discuss it in two weeks.

My nomination is Behavioral At-home Domestic And Safety Specialist.  I’ll let you guys out there work out that acronym for yourselves.