I have been blown away by two recent articles in large publications on the modern trend in child rearing that is taking place in the United States. It appears to me that many people within the United States are wanting to stay in the old days of the man of the house or relationship who is supposed to be the primary bread winner and that a woman is not supposed to allow her spouse/partner be the one at home raising the children.What this is telling me is that as much as this World is wanting to change its ways, beliefs and culture, there are far too many people out there that prefer to stay in the past.
An article written by Frieda Klotz in Frobes Magazine clearly blames the recession still on this modern trend in child rearing. While that may certainly be true in some cases, it is not completely true in all cases of men becoming an At Home Dad. I personally chose with my wife that I would be the parent who was to stay at home with our children when they were born and that she would continue to work as she was far more established in her career and I only had a job. By making a mutual decision to have one of us at home raising our children and realizing that it was easier for me to be that person, that is how I became an At Home Dad. Ms. Klotz in her article seems to doubt whether her fantasy of having a husband be the At Home Parent would not be a good thing. Ms. Klotz talks about her concerns of trustworthiness about fidelity and the reaction society would have if her fantasy husband (I am taking this to mean that Ms. Klotz is not married nor intending to in the near future) were the At Home Parent.
Ms. Klotz also worries about the pressure that she may feel to be the bread winner of the family and to provide for her fantasy family. I also get to a slight degree that Ms. Klotz does not feel that her fantasy husband would be competent enough to handle the everyday rigors of child rearing. Makes me think that she should not get married nor have children as Ms. Klotz has far too many old beliefs that would prohibit her from allowing this type of change to happen for her and her perspective family to be. Makes it sad that Ms. Klotz wants to stick in the olden days and not change to the modern days of the 21st Century.
There is also the article that was published by Bloomberg Business Week (aka Business Week Magazine) written by Carol Hymowitz. Ms. Hymowitz talks about the so-called sacrifices that women who have successful careers make in regards to their families and in my opinion does not show the benefits of having a supportive husband who may be willing or is willing to put aside their own goals for the betterment of the family. Ms. Hymowitz talks about Fortune 500 Companies that have female C.E.O.s who either have or have had At Home Dads however, Ms. Hymowitz comes across to be as being rather dismissive about the reversal of roles in these families versus embracing the modern trend and showing a positive light in regards to what is happening. Ms. Hymowitz also comes across as being harsh towards At Home Parents in general and does not get the meaning of the At Home Parent.
I look back on my own life and wonder how my life would have been different if I had not been a Latch-Key Child, as it was known back in the 70s and 80s (possibly even earlier) if my mom or my dad both did not have to work. Would I have turned out any differently than I am today? Have I let everyone down being the At Home Parent in my family and not being the primary breadwinner? I then think about the fact that I am appreciative of the fact that my wife and I worked together to come to the decision we both made in regards to our children. My wife and I both agreed that one of us needed to be at home with our children and I am fortunate that I only had a job that barely paid the average mean income of the United States and my wife was well established in her career and continues to excel in said career. I got my feelings and desire to have one parent at home all the time while the children were awake from listening to Dr. Laura Schlessinger back in the early 90s and Dr. Laura would preach about having at least one parent home at all times when their children are awake. Made a lot of sense to me and it was something I was striving for when I was thinking of marriage and having a family.
Fortunately for myself, my wife felt strongly about having one of us raise our children versus using a daycare facility and technically having someone else in our view raise our children. So why do these two articles that were published in Forbes Magazine and Business Week Magazine affect me so? Personally I feel that both articles stray away from the family unit in a functional way by saying that parents should be working and let others raise your children. I have a hard time with the fact that our World as much as it is evolving and changing that it has forgotten what it is like to have a parent at home with their children and raising them. Whether it is the father of the children or the mother of the family, it should not matter. Men will raise their children a bit differently than women will because that is just the nature of the differences between men and women. Is it wrong that there is that difference? Definitely not as we all are unique individuals and have different perspectives on how to raise our children. Is a man less capable than a woman in raising their children? Men are just as capable of raising their children as women are, there is just a difference on how things are handled by the men versus women.
The bottom line is that men who are fortunate to work things out within their marriages with their wives or partners to be the one at home raising the children is a very good thing. By having the father at home shows that he is active in his children’s lives more so than a working father or for those who have absent fathers or mothers who do not bother to show care for the offspring that they have produced. It is time that America and perhaps other countries as well, wake up and smell the stench that they are shoveling at everyone. This continues to show as much as everyone values that changes are for the good and a positive thing, there are too many judgmental thoughts that impede progress. If there is a way to have a parent at home raising their children, that is the best way to raise our future. Whether it be an At Home Dad or an At Home Mom should not make a difference. To ridicule either type of At Home Parent proves one thing, we as a society are stuck in some pretty deep stuff and that it takes a special person to change the perception of what is out there. Applaud the At Home Parent as they have the most difficult job in the World that does not come with a monetary salary however, the rewards of being there for your children far outweigh what any monetary salary will ever give a person. I know that I am fortunate to be at home with my children and I know that I am competent in the raising of my children and I know several other dads who do just as well as I do and a lot of moms too. I remember something I know that has been mentioned before within the circles that I keep and it is a quote that I do my best to remember every day. That quote is as follows, “Men Who Change Diapers Change The World” and we do so every day. It is just going to take more time for the rest of the World to catch up to the things that the community of At Home Dads already knows. Dads are just as qualified as moms to be the At Home Parent.